Distracted

rmb i told u guys i've become straight...guess what? i've moved over to the dark side again swinging both ways as kim would put it...and this is now an issue for me...

not tt i mind being gay but getting distracted by someone in the midst of exam fever is torturing for me...seriously..i've got no mood to study though my paper starts tmr...i just hv to let it all out before i commit myself to studying...

her face lit up my day when i was pissed at my groupmates' inefficiency to hv a meeting...not dividing the work till the last minute ie the wk before exams...she's pretty and mature, not like those auntie auntie type...one tt i can talk to and joke ard with..but does she feel the same way? or am i just a friend to her? are my words in the $7 worth of msg getting her interested in me? its too early to conclude...i am finding ways to be ard her more often, even if it is asking her out on a friends' bdae dinner...and creating an inpromptu picnic nxt sat to "celebrate" a fren's belated bdae cum soccer team gathering the following day which made her think abt staying over at taylors house on friday...i want us to happen but i will nvr force someone into a relationship...love hv to happen both ways..i mean both parties hv to love one another for a relationship to workout...and finding tt right person tt u can comunicate with is extremely impt...this i've just found out 2 wks after the taylors house sex talk...its not abt humor, it's abt communication, love, dependence (a shoulder to lean on), comfort and trust..

this is not another kimsim dilemma...tt was pure infatuation..this is diff...i know i sound real emo now but i hv been tt way for the past few wks...(and rohit detected tt sth was bothering me) can't explain it...i just can't explain it, she wasn't the first interest..but she's a friend of the first interest...but i did start liking the first interest when i first met her at the extended program's country grouping...was it a hidden love at first sight for me? can someone explain this welcoming situation to me??

its true when ppl say tt sometimes u can't find the words to describe the way u feel abt someone...each time sky asks me what i like abt her, is it bcoz u know she's bi, dun go for it if u dun love her or u would wind up breaking her heart...my mind goes blank and i'd be wandering, swimming in my thoughts of emotions searching for a noun but i can't find it...all i could come up with is "i dunno...(blushing and smiling to myself)"

i always chat with wan abt wat u find attractive abt someone at first sight...both of us agreed tt its the smile and eyes...she has a cute innocent smile..but beneath tt she has her wild side...though she still has her braces on, i can imagine how her smile would look like after removing the braces...could she be the one i waited 20 yrs for?? like i said, its still too early...i'll just hv to wait and see what would happen in the coming wk when loads of activities are occuring, tests, school dance, dinner and picnic...not to mention my shoppping spree on wed and clubbing on friday...it'll be a long wk ahead...(dun fall sick, ask God for guidance)