it's time

i've finally got the guts to tell max...after day 1 of the sex+love+relationship talk...and after seeing her in the common room watching family guy and american with phae, pizza coke and fred jumbo wings...somehow something just told me to just tell her...so i msn with her tt nite, and told her tt i've got sth to tell her and watever happens, we shld still remain frens..she agreed..and while i was chatting with her i chatted with a bunch of other ppl too, germ, kat, phae, wan and her own sis fran...
i was like freaking out the whole day...after all my classes...T had to calm me down with a lolli..thnks dear...and i procrastinate to tell her after her class...like seriously, go ask gi and tubu..they were in the room when i was "slping" and making weird noises...
when i finally felt calmer, and my lolli was almost done (i'm a super slow sucker, took me an hr to finish a chupa chups), i went over to their room..but there were a whole bunch of ppl there...started biting on the stick and just left the room to gi's rm again..waiting
when i heard anson and char walking past, i knew the room was pretty much empty, it was time..germ acc me there..i went in, T took a cup and left the both of us there to talk...i wanted to tell her, but she was the one doing most of the talking..i remained pretty silent, smiling, playing it cool...still no sense of relief after we're done talking..meditated in germ's rm...slight relief, but i still hv feelings for max..somehow deep down inside there's an itsy bitsy emotion lingering in me...
just read her blog...she's in denial, love didn't happen just ard...it also involved her...i know she might feel uncomfortable since she's frm an all-girls moving into a co-ed sch, but how in the world do u find it disturbing and confusing..i think fran is right..i dun think she's ready to be with anyone right now...